Day 12: Pandora's Box

you know, i knew that doing this was going to be the wrong thing to do. this whole thing with megan was always such a fuck up.

rockie, maybe you were right, maybe i was worried about what she would say. maybe i was worried about telling her friend that i shouldn't be the one to help her, maybe i didn't want to be the one.

i did not want to repeat old patterns, i didn't want to be who i was before. more so not yesterday, not today.

either way, i know now that pandora's box is not meant to be opened and that some things are better off not known... and not with just this whole situation.

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i'm not mad or really sad. maybe i am bitter in a way, maybe i thought i could control the situation, i'm not sure. i don't know what i am trying to say, or accomplish. it's just...

just?

maybe this is how it was supposed to end, with me doing one thing that wasn't, isn't, bad.

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'night.

also, i am still sitting on a blog, but don't know when i'll post it. it is a memory blog called, "what's your cat's name?"